Today I found a child at the toilet seat.
The ring you sit on.
He was gnawing on its top,
slurping the sides,
and beating his hands
to some native beat
on his holy doo-doo drum.
I sanitized him
in the other room.
And meanwhile the other one
crawled in ringside,
and began his own
sickening ceremony.
Gnaw...
Slurp...
Beat...
But today I am proud
not of their accomplishments.
No.
I am proud because,
After all of this,I did not kill either one of them.
Neither. one.
This is the funniest thing that has been written on this blog to date. Also the grossest.
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